Very intimate diaries  17

I sprinkled my daily life with always alert and ready anti-personnel landmines to tear away an arm of the mind, a mental leg, at the slightest movement outside the concrete path of my life.

I walk every day in this cramped trail zigzagging between regrets, remorse and rejections dotted along this narrow cemented route. And I managed to scamper with a light step despite the heaviness of my feelings.

Moving forward, non-stop, I fear every footstep thinking it might be the last stride.

But bit by bit I learned to defuse most of these "anti-me " bombs. I manage to remove each of the pieces which make up them, each time I found love. Love of oneself.

Such a complex work to live simply.

From my yellow notebook  6

I regularly oppose my faith in life with my reason for living.

I need to explore the unknown...

I have long sought permission to live.

My self-deprecation is one of my life’s tools that relieved me most from anxious thoughts.

I can have a remarkable composure in "catastrophic" situations.

To have financial, social and spiritual abundance: what a great idea!!

I want to do a treasure hunt of sources where to quench my thirst.

If I keep doing what I've always done, I'll get what I always got.

I think I am here to learn; so everything else doesn’t belong to me.

My life is a series of zigzags I constantly have to readjust.

Confront my fears allows me to move from a position of suffering to a position of power.

I need to quench my insatiable thirst for knowledge, pleasures, sharing and creation.