Very intimate diaries 19

My inner core is wearing out with these crazy fires of madnesses, these floods of sadness, these thunderstorms of pain and those storms of suffering.

Nevertheless, it still holds. Whatever the width, height or size, my pillar is indestructible. It’s what keeps me on the march, running; to live.

My pivot is blind; he obeys to what causes the shakes, what wants to uproot the soil where it’s sticked, deeply in my heart.

It's my radar that detects the slightest movement of my being and trying to keep my inner balance.

This center, this central stalk is unique. Some have a manufacturing defect, but all are functional.

Some say that we ourselves had already ordered our copy before using it ... Others say that these robust axes are drawn randomly as a lottery where there is only one winner.
Some are born to lead their pillar to perfection; others will not have enough of one life ...

My core braved many inland storms, but his fate remains unchanged as a lighthouse well planted in the rock. It will self-destruct when death will pick it up as a ghost ship that arise from the fog of life.


Very intimate diaries 18

I’m dried up of words. Feeling arid. I am confused, disoriented, unbalanced. I can no longer find the words to say my mental drought.

My well is almost dry. I can scarcely fill it, refresh it. I stroll like a reeling unfinished-life drunk.

I cry dry tears which scratch my face by digging life ruts. My inner-ocean of noises is emptied.

I'm lost among my words, drowned in my sentences and crushed by my pages.

The not to be able to say vacuum is so intense as it pierces me the inside as a dulled and rusty blade of clichés.

I can’t manage to come to light in a poetic way anymore. The poetry within me became dried out ink of arid prose.

I remain lost listening myself writing words. I can feel the ridiculous lives of my words, subjects without subjects. I jump from one sentence to another like a leapfrog of meaning. I lost the thread of my scrappy ideas.

I got lost a long, long time. I searched in black ink the light of my words. And then I woke up...

And now I’m found…