From my yellow notebook  8


Would I use the word "too" too often ...?




To receive criticism has long been for me as if I was attacked by a predator.




When I address to people, I sometimes have a guilty tone.




When I’m going to be ready to take another step, I will. Meanwhile, I observe and learn.

In big periods of stress instead of accelerating I slowed my pace to get a larger inner calm.




To receive criticism can trigger in me a painful inner fire; to learn little by little to become a firefighter.




Anchoring from within; accept that life is a perpetual change.




Each risk I take enlarges my protective bubble.




To receive criticism is sometimes an opportunity to change and improve myself.




I often have this urge to push myself to the limit.




Be able to manage to transform received negative gestures in experienced positive gestures.




When I'm frustrated, I lose a lot of energy.




My negative emotions are part of my life.




There’s in my life “mysteries” I’ll never be able to explain ...




Be able to manage to use the energy of my negative emotions to propel me forward.




To learn to be better, not to be perfect.

Very intimate diaries  7

Sometimes to write asks me no particular effort; everything flows, regardless of the quality and quantity.

When I'm happy I reward myself by eating comfort food.

When I’m not happy, I let steam off by eating comfort food.
What’s a vicious circle yet...?



I don’t flipping care about so many things!



My new obsessive ideas are often old obsessive ideas with new makeup, new clothes and a new hairdo.



I decided that luck existed. Bonne chance!



My initial “sense of urgency” has been gradually transformed into despair.



I’m endowed with strength, power and an iron discipline that allows me to build... and destroy.



I guess I have the friends I deserve.



I need to unravel my negative patterns stitch by stitch before being able to start thinking knitting it back positive.



I try to stuff myself with my life’s tools on and on.



Many of my negative life routines were positive at first.



I’ve been questing for so long that I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.

I am and I already have all I want without knowing it, without seeing it.

Very intimate diaries 2

I am looking for my inner dynamo.

(...)

I'm glad I managed, gradually, in "downloading" of things.

(...)

 

And if I could express my anger and pain by drawing?

(...)

(Another Day) 

I think the Morning Pages make me feel good inside. I seem to crush, to eliminate fears and everything else. As if that was cleaning in full every time.

(...)

The important thing is to keep writing (regardless of frequency). I know at some point I'll end up getting a more regular and a more frequent pace.

(...)

I'm scared I'm so scared. As if I could ... As if all good that can happen to me masks a great misfortune. As if I should not move, speak, or do anything, or something will explode. Otherwise, misfortune appears. I mustn’t tell him (the misfortune) that I found positive and happiness. As if a murder is committed, otherwise. And it's loud it's so strong it's unbelievable. Once again, it's really crippling.

(...)

What do I do with this little “creative genius” that I have in me? He won’t die that’s for sure! I wonder why he's so strong ... (...) It's so strange ... Looks like it's there to allow me to get the steam out.

(...)

I don’t create because I’m in a crisis, and I’m in a crisis because I don’t create...

From my yellow notebook 2

Every step is not a stop, it’s a step.

To lower my strain, focus on my body, my breath, when I act.

How can I create using my anger as strength of progress?

I scream my creativity; I scream my freedom.

I am a Renaissance man.

The law of antidotes: for a negative emotion, arouse its positive opposite inside.

Active Life = Creative Life.

Before concrete acts, there’re concrete thoughts.

I like the word "concrete."