Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts

12/12/2014

This n’ that  8

Young, I dreamed of being a professor, archaeologist, sociologist or psychologist. And someone important.



Probably my creativity is the source of my soul.


Refusals are never final and these requests denied, could lead me to other people who are as important and influential.


In acting, I take control of my life. I become anxious when I don’t act because I lose control of my dreams.


My priorities:
1) Creativity 2) Freedom 3) Success 4) Security 5) Comfort 6) Exploration
7) Adventure 8) Power 9) Passion 10) Health


I am freely obliged to die.


I feel the need to constantly "untie" me from others.


I have periods of single nodes and I have periods of complex nodes.


Why am I so different?


I learn to write, to put it in a constructive, scalable way on people and my surroundings


Take time to spoil me, feed me.


Levels of death through the ages :
1) A very long time ago, we wondered if the body was dead;
2) Later, we wondered if the brain was dead;
3) Today, one wonders if the person is still experiencing emotions.


I continually need to prove myself that I have the right to speak, to think, to write.


When I deny and denigrate all and everything, it’s because I became a loser.



Because he’s unknown, in an unknown environment, with unknowns, he knows he’ll be all right.








10/14/2014

From my yellow notebook 4

Lack of love causes insecurity which increases the need for love which increases insecurity, etc.


The bottomless well: Lack of love. Rage. Lack of love. Rage. Lack of love. Rage...
Stops filling the well!


Spiritual Alchemy: transform my weaknesses into strength.


I created my fears and faults; I’m their father and them my son. Their strength comes from their creator, me. This is my strength, I therefore control them...


The rage I feel I can turn it, sublimate it by making a "transplant"; use that feeling to serve an idea a goal, and make it a formidable force to stimulate me. Build rather than destroy.


To create time for contemplation, however small they may be, throughout my day…


I hear you, I expect you...