From my yellow notebook  9

I know, I create, I do, I love.




I succeed or I learn.




Life is short; I want to enjoy it lengthily.




It's my actions which create my motivation.




I try to achieve my dreams with rigidity.




Start from scratch and continue. Start from a "no" and continue.




Feeling good. Right Now.




When is dad my father? When is mom my mother?




My "Exaggeration up to the ridicule" method acts.




To step back apply to all spheres of my life.

From my yellow notebook  8


Would I use the word "too" too often ...?




To receive criticism has long been for me as if I was attacked by a predator.




When I address to people, I sometimes have a guilty tone.




When I’m going to be ready to take another step, I will. Meanwhile, I observe and learn.

In big periods of stress instead of accelerating I slowed my pace to get a larger inner calm.




To receive criticism can trigger in me a painful inner fire; to learn little by little to become a firefighter.




Anchoring from within; accept that life is a perpetual change.




Each risk I take enlarges my protective bubble.




To receive criticism is sometimes an opportunity to change and improve myself.




I often have this urge to push myself to the limit.




Be able to manage to transform received negative gestures in experienced positive gestures.




When I'm frustrated, I lose a lot of energy.




My negative emotions are part of my life.




There’s in my life “mysteries” I’ll never be able to explain ...




Be able to manage to use the energy of my negative emotions to propel me forward.




To learn to be better, not to be perfect.

From my yellow notebook  6

I regularly oppose my faith in life with my reason for living.

I need to explore the unknown...

I have long sought permission to live.

My self-deprecation is one of my life’s tools that relieved me most from anxious thoughts.

I can have a remarkable composure in "catastrophic" situations.

To have financial, social and spiritual abundance: what a great idea!!

I want to do a treasure hunt of sources where to quench my thirst.

If I keep doing what I've always done, I'll get what I always got.

I think I am here to learn; so everything else doesn’t belong to me.

My life is a series of zigzags I constantly have to readjust.

Confront my fears allows me to move from a position of suffering to a position of power.

I need to quench my insatiable thirst for knowledge, pleasures, sharing and creation.

Very intimate diaries  4

I am amazed at how I'm comfortable with people. I can be so smart, so resourceful. But as soon as I’m alone, it’s the "anti-nomy." Total paralysis. It's pretty amazing…

As long as there won’t be a total and ultimate trigger; it will always be a vicious killing repetitive exhausting circle.

Sometimes my life seems long and boring.

I wish I could love me, love my life...

I know that’s the love of mom and dad that I wanted and that I seek compensation for years.

I don’t understand how can I be so dark and yet have so much hope inside...
It’s obvious that it helps me to live.

(Another Day) 

I reacted quite strongly to the drawings I do in art-therapy. (I see myself as disabled, bruised, defeated and immature)

I almost always let others decide for me.

It seems that I need to receive affection to give me a boost from the bottom of the depressive pool where I am to finally break my drowning.

(In transcribing these lines, I realize how important it is for me to look frankly at my negative side. It’s part of my life. I don’t have to reject it but to accept it. I can help myself to live, learn something from it.  Accept it can give me more strength and much less fear.)

Lights  Scrapbook

In life, there’re no failures; as long as I draw lessons from the events, I succeeded.

I'm not depressed; I’m sometimes in a quiet period before the action, I am in transition.

I'm not lost; I'm sometimes in a research period.

I have not failed: things are sometimes postponed.

Friends are angels who put us back on our feet when our wings have forgotten how to fly anymore.

To believe in something and not living it, it's dishonest. -Gandhi-

These are the choices I make that affect my life, not the circumstances. 

I think my potential, and my learning are unlimited.

I can at any time change the course of my life by taking a decision.

I don’t have to know exactly what I want to do when I do an action.

That's when I fill my life with tools that I live my true life.

I am a source of change. I have this tremendous power to change by myself.