Lights  Scrapbook  5

Identify your problems, but use your power and energy in solutions.

- Anthony Robbins –

I am an old man and I have had my share of trouble, but the majority of them have never occurred.

- Mark Twain -



The true state of a human being is to be original.

- Anton Chekhov -



If nobody told me who I am, whom would I be?

- Wayne Dyer -



An optimist is someone who plant two acorns and buys a hammock.

- Jean de Lattre de Tassigny -



There’s a way to know whether your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive it’s because it’s not!

          - Richard Bach -

From my yellow notebook  8


Would I use the word "too" too often ...?




To receive criticism has long been for me as if I was attacked by a predator.




When I address to people, I sometimes have a guilty tone.




When I’m going to be ready to take another step, I will. Meanwhile, I observe and learn.

In big periods of stress instead of accelerating I slowed my pace to get a larger inner calm.




To receive criticism can trigger in me a painful inner fire; to learn little by little to become a firefighter.




Anchoring from within; accept that life is a perpetual change.




Each risk I take enlarges my protective bubble.




To receive criticism is sometimes an opportunity to change and improve myself.




I often have this urge to push myself to the limit.




Be able to manage to transform received negative gestures in experienced positive gestures.




When I'm frustrated, I lose a lot of energy.




My negative emotions are part of my life.




There’s in my life “mysteries” I’ll never be able to explain ...




Be able to manage to use the energy of my negative emotions to propel me forward.




To learn to be better, not to be perfect.

This n’ that  8

Young, I dreamed of being a professor, archaeologist, sociologist or psychologist. And someone important.

Probably my creativity is the source of my soul.

Refusals are never final and these requests denied, could lead me to other people who are as important and influential.

In acting, I take control of my life. I become anxious when I don’t act because I lose control of my dreams.

My priorities:
1) Creativity 2) Freedom 3) Success 4) Security 5) Comfort 6) Exploration
7) Adventure 8) Power 9) Passion 10) Health

I am freely obliged to die.


I feel the need to constantly "untie" me from others.

I have periods of single nodes and I have periods of complex nodes.


Why am I so different?

I learn to write, to put it in a constructive, scalable way on people and my surroundings

Take time to spoil me, feed me.


Levels of death through the ages :
1) A very long time ago, we wondered if the body was dead;
2) Later, we wondered if the brain was dead;
3) Today, one wonders if the person is still experiencing emotions.

I continually need to prove myself that I have the right to speak, to think, to write.

When I deny and denigrate all and everything, it’s because I became a loser.

Because he’s unknown, in an unknown environment, with unknowns, he knows he’ll be all right.

Narrative  11

The baseball game:

I remember being a child I hated playing baseball. Mainly because I used to be a “benchwarmer.” Nothing more humiliating and nothing to make me love the game!

More than twenty years later I was taking a walk in the early evening in Lafontaine Park, with a hint of loneliness and melancholy in my heart, when I came across a baseball game played by a small band of youngsters.

There was something in the air that night that decided me to dwell: the shouts of encouragement from parents sitting in the small bleachers; the warmth of this late summer evening; the feeling to suddenly be in an American movie archetype on childhood nostalgia.

Those few minutes I spent watching this joust, which was ending, became one of my most beautiful moments of relaxation and well-being of my life; certainly in the top 10! I so wanted this game lasts and lasts...

Later, resuming my walk, I had a lighter heart; I had the feeling of having touched and "recovered" a part of my youth, my childhood, where I wasn’t able to enjoy this game in all its glory because of the spirit of fierce competition of my coaches of yesteryear.

I was so happy for those few minutes in the park as much as I am now revealing to you, with a colorful of grace, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance, this story which belongs to my childhood memory...

From my yellow notebook  7

My perfectionism = Paralysis

I have a great intolerance for any errors… Mine!

I have a very high fear of ridicule (big ego?).

God that’s maybe to recognize itself in others...

I am the Great Wizard; I can conjure up magical thinking over and over and over...

I am a student at the University of Life.

To be able to go from a state of suffering to a state of power.

Being patient that’s knowing that it will happen.

Allow time… to Time.

All right, I tried and it wasn’t through there.
Now, where should I go?

As soon as I have what I desired, I quickly feel emptiness.

What I like is the "desire to have".

I have inner screams asking to get out.

I have an innate sense of adaptation.

I need to change angle by which I see things, only a few degrees.

I have many rigid and inflexible beliefs.

I look for the perfect action for the perfect reaction.

Very intimate diaries  7

Sometimes to write asks me no particular effort; everything flows, regardless of the quality and quantity.

When I'm happy I reward myself by eating comfort food.

When I’m not happy, I let steam off by eating comfort food.
What’s a vicious circle yet...?



I don’t flipping care about so many things!



My new obsessive ideas are often old obsessive ideas with new makeup, new clothes and a new hairdo.



I decided that luck existed. Bonne chance!



My initial “sense of urgency” has been gradually transformed into despair.



I’m endowed with strength, power and an iron discipline that allows me to build... and destroy.



I guess I have the friends I deserve.



I need to unravel my negative patterns stitch by stitch before being able to start thinking knitting it back positive.



I try to stuff myself with my life’s tools on and on.



Many of my negative life routines were positive at first.



I’ve been questing for so long that I don’t know what I’m looking for anymore.

I am and I already have all I want without knowing it, without seeing it.

Lights   Scrapbook  4

Each event that strikes me gives me a thrust to move forward.

- Martin Gray –

Wherever you are is the entry point.

- Kabir –

Instead of “Why me?” ask yourself “What now?”

- Julia Cameron –

Failure is the foundation of success.

- Lao Tzu –

The strength of the true detours is not to move away, but to achieve one’s goal with greater accuracy.

- Benjamin Pelletier –

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of standing still.

- Chinese Saying –

Traumas are neither large nor small. That depends on the meaning for each one.

- Boris Cyrulnik –

Writing is the mental key of my control room.

- J.L. –

Neurosis and wisdom are made of the same stuff...

- Unnamed –

You cannot teach without learning simultaneously.

- Unknown –

One may take away what you have, but not what you give.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry –

Creation is the antidote to the chaos which surrounds me.

- Anonym –

We can’t have everything, but we can give everything...

- Geneviève Desrosiers –

Narrative 10

G.'s raised collar :

I remember G. in high school, grade eleven. She was always dressed to the nines. She very often wore three-piece suits to come to school, almost always blue but in different tones. I always had the impression that she was dressed to go to a wedding ... or a funeral.

She was sitting in front of me in History. One morning she arrived dressed in one of her famous suit, but what was different is that the collar of her shirt was completely raised.

Sitting behind her, I saw this huge raised collar - shirts in those years had gigantic collars - and I decided on the spot to fold it down before anyone notices the "serious mistake "; her collar rose without her knowing! So I leaned on my desk reaching for her big collar and slowly I folded it down into its original position with my hand. I sat back on my chair with a sense of accomplishment.

G. then turned round giving me an interrogator keen eye and in front of the silent class raised her collar mumbling that this is how she wanted it.

Ô Shame! I, who had never dared to speak to this girl, whom I secretly liked, she scoffed at me in front of the class. (Well, in front of myself actually!) I felt so disgraced in front of her for the rest of the school year; an asshole who didn’t know the current fashion was raised collars!

The irony is that five or six years later, I began to raise my collars, not of my shirts, but of all my coats.

G., I have never forgotten you, you know; even today, whenever I raise my coat’s collar, I have a little thought for you...

From my yellow notebook  6

I regularly oppose my faith in life with my reason for living.

I need to explore the unknown...

I have long sought permission to live.

My self-deprecation is one of my life’s tools that relieved me most from anxious thoughts.

I can have a remarkable composure in "catastrophic" situations.

To have financial, social and spiritual abundance: what a great idea!!

I want to do a treasure hunt of sources where to quench my thirst.

If I keep doing what I've always done, I'll get what I always got.

I think I am here to learn; so everything else doesn’t belong to me.

My life is a series of zigzags I constantly have to readjust.

Confront my fears allows me to move from a position of suffering to a position of power.

I need to quench my insatiable thirst for knowledge, pleasures, sharing and creation.

This n’ that  7

Go directly from the soul’s wound to art...

The fear I have is future failures because they’ll surely be.
So??

I don’t want my life’s tools become "plasters on a wooden leg."

I dream of having an epiphany.

If I could see my future, I think I would stop living.

My feelings are often sawtooth: I like it, then I don’t like it, then I like it, then I don’t like it, etc.

There’s gesture and "non-gesture".

I can be very superficial sometimes.

Part of me believes that to be alive and well... I have to feel discomfort.

I "bought" a way of living and doing which doesn’t belong to me.

To love deeply one’s work is a reward every day.

I'm obsessed with my craving to create.
I’m obsessed with my craving for freedom.
I'm obsessed with my craving for truth.

Narrative 9

The marriage of M. with L.
I remember the wedding of M. and L. when I was a teenager. I was told that I served Mass during the marriage, but I don’t remember at all. In fact, what I remember is a very traumatic time after the wedding, right before the banquet...

Just before the guests came down to the reception hall in the basement of the church, my sister and I were already there alone, expecting Mom to join us shortly.

Instead a relative of L. arrived and suddenly was very aggressive towards us shouting and screaming. For no reason at all! I still remember the intense fear that gripped me all over my body. (Thirty years later my sister and I still have shivers when we look back ...) We then went outside trembling from head to toes.

When Mom arrived we watched her go into the reception hall alone to face the weirdo. I was fearful for her. But in my heart I knew Mom would save and protect us...

I'd never been aware until now of all the self-assuredness I saw in Mom. Because I knew deep down that she would never be afraid to stand up for me no matter what. She gave me a great proof of her love then. Which I never realized...

Lights  Scrapbook  3

Impassioned by passion.

- Francoise Sagan -

As long as I'm alive I can always rebuild even with ruins.

- Martin Gray -

Dreams can die but not dreamers.

- Gilles Gérardin -

Even if life has no meaning what prevents us from inventing one?

- Lewis Carroll -

I am what’s around me.

- Wallace Stevens -

Fear asks me to take action

- Julia Cameron –

Happy is he who forgets what cannot be changed.

- Unknown -

Being rebellious is to refuse the world is frozen.

- Benedict Duteurtre –

Well-being is chosen every day. This is something moving, not stopped.

- Guy Corneau –

We build ourselves telling our story.

- Boris Cyrulnik –

When your look on things changes, the things you look at change.

- Wayne Dyer –