Showing posts with label youth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label youth. Show all posts

12/11/2014

Narrative  11

The baseball game:


I remember being a child I hated playing baseball. Mainly because I used to be a “benchwarmer.” Nothing more humiliating and nothing to make me love the game!

More than twenty years later I was taking a walk in the early evening in Lafontaine Park, with a hint of loneliness and melancholy in my heart, when I came across a baseball game played by a small band of youngsters.

There was something in the air that night that decided me to dwell: the shouts of encouragement from parents sitting in the small bleachers; the warmth of this late summer evening; the feeling to suddenly be in an American movie archetype on childhood nostalgia.

Those few minutes I spent watching this joust, which was ending, became one of my most beautiful moments of relaxation and well-being of my life; certainly in the top 10! I so wanted this game lasts and lasts...

Later, resuming my walk, I had a lighter heart; I had the feeling of having touched and "recovered" a part of my youth, my childhood, where I wasn’t able to enjoy this game in all its glory because of the spirit of fierce competition of my coaches of yesteryear.


I was so happy for those few minutes in the park as much as I am now revealing to you, with a colorful of grace, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance, this story which belongs to my childhood memory...








9/19/2014

Very intimate diaries

Antidepressants have taught me how my brain works.

(…)

Get out of self-sabotage.

(…)

To believe that I am on the road to recovery, I need to feel and see real change.

(…)

Looking for therapeutic triggers that’ll bring the changes I wish for.

(…)

Six, seven months after Mom died, the image of the tyrannical tigress is gone, replaced by that of a sweet woman. (The image I had of her in her youth, and I've always kept, was replaced by the image of an aging woman of its last days.) 

(…)

I have a lot of incredible feelings of revenge, anger and frustration in me. A rather explosive combination. 

(…)

I want to get back to the "world before." 

(…)

I have my legs, my arms, but sometimes not all my head ...