Very intimate diaries  17

I sprinkled my daily life with always alert and ready anti-personnel landmines to tear away an arm of the mind, a mental leg, at the slightest movement outside the concrete path of my life.

I walk every day in this cramped trail zigzagging between regrets, remorse and rejections dotted along this narrow cemented route. And I managed to scamper with a light step despite the heaviness of my feelings.

Moving forward, non-stop, I fear every footstep thinking it might be the last stride.

But bit by bit I learned to defuse most of these "anti-me " bombs. I manage to remove each of the pieces which make up them, each time I found love. Love of oneself.

Such a complex work to live simply.

This n' that 2
 

I have more pain not doing things because, besides the regrets, I add the disappointment. And my energy and my motivation decrease and decrease because of this non-action.

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My children within me are still alive, but frightened and hidden in a cave in the depths of the world in total darkness. They are starved and became hysteric they are afraid and they've been waiting for me they've been waiting for me for so long.

They've never stopped believing that I would come looking for them one day...

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Every attempt becomes a practice, a rehearsal for the one who will become a reality.

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When I act, I feel at peace.

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My values/qualities:
1) Open-mindedness 2) Respect 3) Altruism 4) Empathy
5) Intelligence 6) Generosity 7) Frankness 8) Loyalty 9) Honesty 10) Integrity

11) Forgiveness 12) Diversity 

(Yeah, yeah...)

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"When we die, is it for life?"

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My eulogy, short & sweet: we loved him!

   

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One of the most fascinating things in life, for me, is observing others.