Very intimate diaries 10

When I go through hard times, I noticed that I put everything in my personality in question. It's pretty exhausting...

(....)

Sometimes, quite naturally, my devotion gradually turns me into a victim and strangely I do nothing to get out of it as if I liked it...

(....)

I remembered a friend telling me, a very long time ago, that people don’t want to fall in love but rather find "doctors" to heal their souls.

Now, I believe him.

(....)

The tremendous talent I got, at very large capacity, with every opportunity I get, any time, for all sorts of activities, actions and gestures from me, tirelessly and with maniacal surgical precision is... to judge me, re-judge me, re-re-judge me until dead do us part. Amen!

From my yellow notebook  10

I have a “traveling bubble” to create.

I deserve something good happens in my life.

When I let fear going up, without resisting, tension in me fall down.

Knowing. Being able. Wanting.

While I know that some activities I do are futile and useless, I love doing them and they make me feel very, very good!

The successes of others can be very rewarding for me.

In most projects / activities / work I do as soon as I start thinking about result I paralyzes.

I am a connoisseur in "Doing everything ... except what I have to do! »

Faith and Abandonment vs Reason and Destiny.

I often have the feeling that my brain is built as if there were, superimposed, a multitude of disturbing thoughts that I have to tear away one after the other, year after year, to be better and better.

Narrative  12

Successful fishing!

I remember as a teenager, one dinner time, my mother, all kindness, did a gentle caress on my back while I gulped down my meal. What a surprising expression of fondness from mom who usually was very distant and cold in all gestures of affection …

But later what a surprise when right in the middle of a course a student sitting behind me loudly discovered… an April fool that Mom had stuck on my back!

I felt quite embarrassed and somewhat humiliated in front of the entire class.

I remember the smile and laughter she had when I confronted her, telling her that I guessed she was the one responsible for this public humiliation.

Of course, I forgave her in a split second my mother being as charming as mischievous…

Lights  Scrapbook  7

 
The future you don’t have to expect but to enable it.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry -

I continue to compose because it tires me less than to rest.

- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart -

Evolution doesn’t know the reverse gear.

- Boris Cyrulnik -

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

         - Anatole France –

I sometimes feel like a leaf on a torrent. It can twirl, swirl and turn around but it still goes ahead.

- Daniel Boone -

We don’t get rid of a habit by flanking it through the window; we must get it down the stairs step by step.

- Mark Twain -

In one year you’ll wish to have started today.

- Karen Lamb -

Make your dream devour your life so that life doesn’t devour your dream.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry -

Life is the only career which interests me.

- Erik Orsenna -
 

Unpack your suitcases wherever you are.

- Marie-Pier Charron -

Do you want to live happy? Travel with two bags; one to give and one to receive.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe -

To keep dreaming I create new benchmarks.

- JL -

Heaven is not a place; it's a state of mind.

- Georges Boularier-

Very intimate diaries  9

I understand that my life’s tools are tools. The work they help me accomplish often remains on the periphery of the "central engine." To work more directly to the heart of it, I need professional outside help.

What I genuinely want is ... uh...

What I honestly desire is ... uh...

What I fervently wish is ... uh...

I think ultimately I don’t know.

I never thought I was playing so much the victim.

Despite all that I can think of and even if I have a problem to admit it, Mom and Dad loved me.

I try to sublimate my pain with art.

My insane fears infiltrate everything I am, do and live.

From my yellow notebook  9

I know, I create, I do, I love.




I succeed or I learn.




Life is short; I want to enjoy it lengthily.




It's my actions which create my motivation.




I try to achieve my dreams with rigidity.




Start from scratch and continue. Start from a "no" and continue.




Feeling good. Right Now.




When is dad my father? When is mom my mother?




My "Exaggeration up to the ridicule" method acts.




To step back apply to all spheres of my life.

Lights  Scrapbook  6

If it’s not a “Hell, Yes!” right away then it’s a “Hell, No!”

- Alain Cohen –

Don't be afraid of happiness; it's just a good time to pass!

- Romain Gary –

Writing is the best way to speak without being interrupted.

- Jules Renard –

We can become what we need to be by remaining what we are.

- Max De Pree –

Being an artist is wanting to create; being a creator is doing it.

- Diane De Serres –

I wouldn't stay in the past because today is a "present"...

- JL –

We always hug the one we love and the art of writing is the art of extending the arms...

- Denis Diderot –

Everything is change, not for no longer be, but to become what is not still.

- Epictetus –

Obstacles are our friends; they show us how to improve.

- Robert Lepage –

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where I renew my springs that never dry up.

- Pearl Buck –

We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

- Oscar Wilde –

Only the one who takes the road knows the depth of the holes.

- Unknown –

I went through sickness, pain, suffering and more difficult times. These experiences help us, provided we get out of it.

- JL –  (inspired by Pippo Delbono)

Very intimate diaries  8

Sometimes in the morning I'm dreaming and when I wake up I'm still in my dream as if my brain thought it was part of reality and when I return to reality, I’m often very depressed because of the reality check.




I noticed that when I’m less physically active ... I become more tired.




When I’m told that I have a lot of "presence" it’s generally when I feel the most fragile.




I tried the thing with the elastic at the wrist; it seems to have some effect. But in the long run my wrist gets very reddish!




I’m again and again obsessed with the thought, “What will soon happen to me?”




Writing, eating, drinking, making love, laughing are in pleasure’s world my top 5.




When I’m writing, my sentences on the lines of my notebook remind me of those little paths that I created in the sand with my toy trucks.




Slowly, in my head, I’m going from total monologue to genuine dialogue.