Very intimate diaries  13

 

Year after year a shambles of voices settled down in my head. Each of them is trying to attract my attention, they shout louder as each other until a symphonic cacophony is heard. Each asked me to follow their path. And so, I created a maze of paths of life which I don’t know where the exit is anymore.

 

As soon as I finally kill one, another takes its place as the monstrous heads of the Lernaean Hydra where for each head cut off it grew two more. And with one rustle it succeeds, also, to numb me to remain to its service.

 

One servant, dozens masters.

 

To be able to stop hearing them I engulfed, sank myself day after day deep down in me like in a bottomless pit.

 

Until one day I realized that they would be with me forever since each is bound to me as the earth to the sun; our survival depends on that of the other. I am their creator and they are my creatures. They’re like kids screaming, jumping, exploding at any moment without warning.

 

I then understood that I have to allow the hurricane to pass, head down, walking against the wind, keep moving and get in that place in me, inviolate by these repeated aggressions, who protects me and tirelessly feeds me; Life.

 

Pending completion of it, I move forward...